Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
