im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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