This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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