I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
