haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
