the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
