i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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