Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
