Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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