'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
