So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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