you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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