So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
