so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
