whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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