There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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