I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
