There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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