Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
