I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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