I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
But break dance skills will only take you so far
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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