I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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