I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
