if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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