He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
