Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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