we're blogging at a bar
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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