I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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