Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
