We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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