I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize