i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
