great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
