someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
