I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
