I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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