wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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