I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
