Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
