pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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