With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
you're hired as official boob wrangler
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
