It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
