We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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