Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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