He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
