Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
