im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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