I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
sex in a hospital.. check
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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