You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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