Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
