is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
