glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
As shirtless as possible
you had me at cake vodka
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
