ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
