dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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