you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
