Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
