my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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