Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
