some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
