she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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