Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize