I skipped work to stalk him.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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